New Beginnings

So, now that I have a whole website and stuff, I am thinking about resurrecting my blogging practice. It’s been such a whirlwind few weeks. I’ve been diving into work with renewed energy, I’ve been taking real strides to make this little art business idea a reality, I’ve been DATING - don’t even get me started! - and most importantly I’ve been healing.

I had my weekly therapy appointment yesterday and I am so grateful for my therapist. She calls me out on my BS, but in the most approachable way, and reminds me of things that I forget - like to have grace for myself, to remember that anxiety tells us information, and to remember that growth does not come from comfort. I was working through some anxiety about love life things with her yesterday, and we were both able to point out ways I’ve grown and how I’m handling things in a healthier and more positive way these days - things that would have crippled me just a few months ago.

I have so much to celebrate these days, and I am so grateful to have a community that celebrates with me! You all have been so receptive not only to my art but you have cheered me on as I wrapped up TMS and shared my story about that experience. I have so many cheerleaders in my corner, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such amazing friends and family.

TMS really changed my life. I am so proud of myself for seeing it through, and for trusting the process. I know it’s so cliche, but trust the process really has been my mantra these days, as I figure out who a Healthy Sarah is. This is the first time in my adult life that I’ve felt truly healthy mentally and emotionally, and so I’m finally learning at 32 who I am as a person… I had hints, and signs, but I feel fully myself now, for the first time as an adult, and that’s a crazy feeling! It’s like waking up to yourself one day and realizing you had been seeing things in two dimensions and now you see them in three. It’s really disorienting and scary sometimes, but the world has so much more dimension to me now! I am also remembering to have grace for myself that I don’t have everything figured out yet, like who I am in a romantic relationship, or what kind of worker I am, or even what kind of daughter and friend I am. It will take time to fully learn my new, healthy self, and I’m just trying to be present for every bit of it.

<3